Endeavour: Episode Three

{{Written by Alina}}

“Turn her a few leagues Nor-easterly,” Cornelius said, adjusting the altitude of the ground-hopper. “The camp is here.”

Gaius skillfully landed the ship in a rock outcropping beyond the Anubian grounds.

“The trick with a craft like this is to briefly hyperextend the landing gear such that it faces slightly forward and repels you from the rocks in front. I learned that in the Anubian force.”

“You fought?”

“I did the minimum tour required for a man of high social standing. I never went off planet, hence my skill with ground-hoppers. Unfortunately, I’m rather hopeless at handling anything larger.”

“No matter. Are you ready for more snooping and prying about?”

“Hardly my preference, but I understand that we are, in this case, severely outmatched.”

“Look there,” said Alejandra. “They are cutting down the Chrees.”

“They called ‘trees’, woman.” said Sister Pastor.

“Chrees,” Alejandra echoed.

“Aw, say whatever fool thing you think it is, then.”

“What interest do they have in those trees?” said Gaius.

“Let’s get a bit closer, shall we?” said Cornelius.

They followed him to the grove of trees, and entered just as the Anubian workers left for a mid-day meal.

“Hmm. Nothing of note here, they’re shipping blocks of it straight to a furnace.”
Cornelius picked up a plank of firewood. He got an excited look on his face and ran to the roots of one of the still-standing trees, clawing at the ground beneath it.

“Perhaps it is of note now, yes?” said Alejandra.

“Not as far as the Anubians are concerned, but to us, this may well be unfathomably important. I have to experiment of course, to see if my theory holds.” He turned to Alejandra and Sister Pastor.

“I need you to gather this wood and store it in the hold before the Anubians return. I mean all of it, trees included. Alejandra, you can use the ship’s crane, correct?”

“What is this need for the destruction? I do not understand.”

“I know it seems disrespectful, but it’s not going to harm them so long as you preserve the taproot. Work quickly, I don’t know when they’ll be back.”

“You sayin’ you want us to steal ten big-#$$ trees with a crane befo’ the Anubians finish they little cucumber sandwiches? Ain’t gonna happen, boy.”

“I know. But they’ll have more pressing matters to attend to. Gaius, come with me.” Cornelius grabbed the plank, and crept into the Anubian complex with Gaius in tow.

Alejandra and Sister Pastor exchanged glances of confusion, but quickly flew the ground-hopper over to the grove. They carted the chopped wood into the ship’s hold, and Alejandra readied the crane to pick up the first tree. Sister Pastor fixed the clamp to the trunk, and they began to pull it from the ground.

“Excuse me!” said someone angrily.

“Oh, now the tree wants to weigh in, huh?” said Sister Pastor.

A woman carrying a stack of notebooks lowered herself from the treetop on some sort of home-made pulley system.

“Who are you?” said Alejandra.

“I, Madame, am Emmaline Hortense Sjorsdotter, and these Xylionis jazari tree’s you’re so thoughtlessly ripping from the ground are my research subjects. What-“
She was interrupted by a colossal explosion.

Meanwhile, Cornelius and Gaius maneuvered past many layers of unsuspecting Anubian guards and entered the furnace room.

“I’m not sure what this is,” said Cornelius, “but it’s not what I’m looking for so let’s blow it up as a distraction.”

“What a sound and calculated line of reasoning,” said Gaius. “Tell me, do you always make decisions on this basis?”

“No, but I’m in the mood for some chaos.”

“Very well. Let’s see what happens when you heat a closed system on a massive scale.”
They closed the upper chamber of the furnace, blocked its vent and output pipe with debris, and put all the available fuel into the fire.

“Let’s make haste,” said Gaius.

“Yes, let’s,” said Cornelius. They ran out of the room as fast as they could, disregarding the Anubians who seemed not at all happy to see them.

“Declare yourselves immediately!” snapped a guard, drawing his weapon.

“Sorry, haven’t the time,” said Cornelius as he ran by.

“I’m what you’d call a foe,” said Gaius, shooting him in the head as he passed.
There was an enormous explosion behind them as they dashed down the hallway and out the door.

“Did you have to shoot him two seconds before he was going to die?” said Cornelius as they ducked into hiding behind a waste receptacle.

“I like a personal touch,” said Gaius.

“Isn’t it unkind to kill someone who’s about to die anyway?”

“Isn’t it worse to kill someone who isn’t?”

Anubians ran towards or away from the explosion, depending on their character, and pandemonium ensued. Other buildings nearby began to catch fire, and smoke burst from the broken windows of the furnace room.

“Now there’s a work environment with which I can be satisfied,” said Cornelius. “Now if I remember correctly, the communications center is this way.”

He led Gaius to another building. They donned some Anubian overcoats from a storage unit and entered a room full of long-range detecting equipment. Cornelius broke the back panel off a machine, switched some circuit breakers, and stood up in front of the console.

“Watch the door, will you Gaius?”

“Yes, we’re in no position to offer hospitality to unwanted guests.”

Cornelius turned some dials and entered a number into the communicator, hoping to reach the Dragon. The screen flickered for a moment and then the face of a young woman about Cornelius’ age appeared.

“Um. Well hullo there,” Cornelius said to the stranger, cursing the complexity of interspace hacking.

“Hello. What’s your name?” she said.

“I’m Cornelius. I am talking to the Feisty Dragon, am I not?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” she said, looking around for some indication of a name for her surroundings. “It’s a class X-21 Battle Cruiser that’s been heavily refitted so the short range lasers hook up to the cockpit and the long range lasers fire ballista missiles?”

Cornelius smiled. He had a new friend.

“You didn’t happen to be raised on an asteroid, did you?”

“No, no, I’m from the Bacchian system originally. Sorry to disappoint. But I’ve recently been traveling a lot, so I guess home is the…Feisty Dragon now. Geneva H. Moore, at your service!”

“Nice to meet you Geneva H. Moore. I take it you’re part of our crew now?”

“No, no, it’s Geneva L. Moore.”

“Really, I could’ve sworn your middle initial was ‘h’ the first time you told me.”

“Nope, it’s definitely an A.”

Cornelius paused, wondering if she was being funny or if she was actually daft. “May I talk to one of the crew members please?”

Geneva looked behind her. Something red and gooey flew by in the background.

“Probably better not. They’re indisposed right now. What can I help you with?”

“Oh. Well, let them know that I’m finished with my mission on Osiris and I’m ready to be picked up. We can meet at the spaceport between the Anubian system and the Wagnerian System.”

“Will do! Alright, bye!”

With that, Geneva ended the call and the image collapsed into static. Cornelius turned off the machine, shot it to erase its memory, and returned to Gaius. He didn’t look amused.

“Next time, how about you risk your neck standing guard and I waste time flirting with pretty young space-piratesses.”

“Agreed,” said Cornelius, “but I wasn’t-“

“Where next, then?” said Gaius.

“Er, next door. The sonar and radar center.” He gestured with the plank he still had in his grasp.

They hurried through deserted, smokey corridors to the next room, a gargantuan signal reception base. Cornelius stunned the stationed operators, and Gaius shot the armed guards.

“Okay,” said Cornelius, fiddling with some wiring on a large machine, “hold the plank for me for a moment.”

“Why?”

Cornelius handed him the plank and picked up a hand-held sonar emitter. He aimed it at Gaius and pulled the trigger. Electricity flowed unpleasantly from the plank, to Gaius, to the floor.

“%^&*!” shouted Gaius, dropping the plank. “What in God’s name was that?”

“That, Gaius, is something nobody has ever done before.” Cornelius was grinning from ear to ear. “You might say it’s a rather ‘shocking’ discovery.”

“Now you’ve hurt me mentally as well as physically, Cornelius. I demand an explanation.”

“You won’t believe me, but alright. This wood comes from a very special and rare kind of tree,” said Cornelius, “Xylionis jazari. It’s unique in that it acts in many ways like a metal, being malleable and conductive.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Mostly, yes. Would you like more proof to the contrary?”

“No!” said Gaius. “What did it do with the sonar?”

“It absorbed it and converted the signal into a nasty shock for you. If we could use this in cloaking for a ship, it would be virtually undetectable by sonar. You’ll notice that my detector didn’t register a returning wave. This means that if a ship cloaked in xylionic wood were hit with a wave at this frequency, it would be converted and stored as power for the ship. I’ve theorized about this for quite some time, it’s rather a revolutionary idea, if I do say so myself.”

Gaius looked incredulous.

“How is it that nobody knows about this plant, if it’s so unique?”

“I’m not sure, but if I were to hazard a guess I’d say that it’s because physicists don’t talk to biologists, biologists don’t talk to physicists, and no scientists stay on Osiris for any extended period of time.”

“And if all the scholars in the system couldn’t figure this out, why could you?”
“Because I didn’t go to school, I suppose. I never had to choose a field.”

Cornelius clamped the plank into a circuit with a lightbulb, and handed the sonar emitter to Gaius.

Gaius sent waves of various frequencies into the plank, and found that the lightbulb lit up upon absorbing them.

“It’s a bit much to take, all at once,” said Cornelius. “Needless to say, it’s important that the Anubians don’t find out about this. Now, I need you to record the range of frequencies that can be absorbed by the xylionic wood. If the operators wake up, stun them again.” Cornelius handed Gaius his gun and made for the door.
“Where are you going unarmed?”

“I’m just checking up on something in the written records room we passed when we came in. I’ll be alright, I literally have tricks up my sleeve. Oh, did I mention? I’m not entirely human, that’s why I had you do the initial test. Back in a minute!”

Cornelius left a confused Gaius and entered the written records room. He pulled a recent volume off the shelf and flipped through it, looking for his name.

“Freeze!” said a voice behind him. Cornelius felt a gun on his neck. He slowly turned his head around and was surprised to find not an Anubian guard but a small, bookish librarian holding the pistol.

“I’m leaving this place,” said the woman, “and there’s just not a thing you can do about it. I’ll shoot if you try anything funny. Don’t even think about getting an officer.”

“What?” said Cornelius.

The woman looked slightly less determined for a moment.

“You don’t sound Anubian,” she said.

“I’m not,” said Cornelius, “and neither are you. What are you doing here?”

“I’m holding a gun to your head, is what I’m doing, so start behaving accordingly.”

“Right,” said Cornelius, slowly removing the Anubian jacket. “See, I’m not Anubian. Now let’s put the gun down, because I’ve got a ship and you need it to escape.”

“You’ve piqued my curiosity, sir,” she lowered the gun a few inches.

“My name is Cornelius Zydeco, and I work for a group of pirates against the Anubian domination.”

“Cornelius who?” she suddenly lost interest in the gun and picked up a volume marked ‘Legends, Disproven’. She flipped through the book to an entry and began to read it. “So what you’re saying is, you’re a man with supernatural powers that lives in the shadows of Osiris fighting for justice against gangs? The one that parents tell their children about for bedtime stories when King Arthur isn’t glorious enough? Sir, if you’re going to pick a fake identity, choose one a bit more ‘John Smith’, a bit less ‘Robin Hood’.”

“Is that the only place I’m mentioned in the Anubian records?”

“Yes, ‘Cornelius Zydeco’, it is. Now give me your real name, or I’ll pick up the gun again.”

“This gun?” said Cornelius, holding her pistol.

“%&#*& and #$^#-ridden ^&*@# in a hand basket!”

“That was…creative. Now if you would be so kind as to accompany me to the sonar and radar center.”

Cornelius drove her across the building at gunpoint.

“Since you’re so inclined that we should become acquainted, why don’t you tell me your name?”

“I’m Cornelius Zydeco,” she said sarcastically.

Cornelius sighed and rolled up his sleeve to reveal a green-glowing forearm. With a flick of his wrist, one of his fingers became a drill.

“If you’re still convinced I’m not Cornelius Zydeco, ask me something that only he would know.”

“It said in the entry that Cornelius Zydeco once blew up an airship while on board. How exactly did you go about that?”

“I jumped to the hull of a passing ground-hopper, then commandeered it.”

“Well then. Just one more question.”

“Yes?”

“How is it that you’re so skinny if your best friends are Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?”

“I see you’re going to be difficult about this,” said Cornelius. They spent the rest of the walk in silence.

“Who’s this, Cornelius?” said Gaius.

“It’s Cornelius Zydeco, apparently,” he said. “See, I believe you, why won’t you believe me?”

“I’ve missed something,” said Gaius.

The woman kicked Cornelius in the shins.

“What was that for?” he said, cringing.

“You there,” she said to Gaius, “how long have you known this man?”

“Just under one day,” said Gaius, “why?”

“I believe you now. My name is Anita O’Connor, I’m a historian from the third moon of Thoth, and I’ve been a consultant to the Anubians for their current mission on Osiris. They’re a nasty, brutal sort and I sincerely hope you all succeed in defeating them.”

“What caused the sudden yet refreshing openness?” said Cornelius.

“Well, you didn’t shoot me when I kicked you, for one. For two, that man has known you less than a day and he trusts you enough to follow you into the middle of an Anubian settlement, blow up their furnace, and hack into their communications. There’s no better way to guarantee one’s own mortality than that, so you must be someone worth following.” She paused, “and for three, the bit with the glowing arm and the drill finger.”

“Yes, I thought that bit was good too,” said Cornelius. “It’s also literally a bit, because it’s the spinning part of a drill.”

Anita kicked him in the shins again.

Meanwhile, Alejandra and Sister Pastor were engaged in a similar conversation with Emmaline Hortense Sjorsdotter.

“…and that’s how phosphorilation works at the atomic level. Now put down my tree or I’ll explain the Krebs cycle.”

“Sweet Jesus, woman! I can’t take no more of this. Let her go, Alejandra, it just ain’t worth it.”

“And these ‘carbon atoms’, they come together in all these ways, truly?”

“Yes. In fact, there are lots of ways in which carbon atoms can come together. I think I’ll list them all, unless you want to put the tree down. There’s alkanes, and triglycerides, and complex sugars, and graphite, and coal, and diamonds, and benzene rings, and phenyl groups, and…“

“Quiet, girl! You gonna bust my nerves right out my head. Why don’t you just come down the tree, and talk sensible.”

“…and carbohydrates, and fatty acids, and nucleic acids like guanine, thyamine, uracil, cytosine, and adenine, and there’s carboxylic acid, and…”

“It is fascinating that they can do all these things. And all of them happen up in that tree you sit in?”

“The tree in which I sit. Actually, English grammar is another good topic of conversation. Let’s talk about the proper use of the semicolon. Did you know that it requires the same phrase structure on either side to be used correctly?”

“Where’s my gun? I ain’t listenin’ to this no more.”

“No, do not shoot her! She will teach me the semicolon!”

“$%^& the semicolon.” Sister Pastor drew her pistol and aimed it into the tree. “I apologize, Lord, for what I now must do. I know it is a sin to take an innocent life, but Lord, she gone too far.”

“The semicolon should never be used unless each phrase can stand on its own as a complete sentence. Here’s an example. Put down the tree; I’ll stop talking. You couldn’t say ‘put down the tree; and I’ll stop talking’, because ‘and I’ll stop talking’ is a dependent clause.”

“Dependent on my gun!”

“What’s going on here?” said Cornelius, arriving on the scene with Gaius and Anita behind him. He noticed the stranger dangling from the tree, which was in turn dangling from the ship’s crane. He shot the rope holding her up, and she fell several feet to the ground.

“Emmaline Hortense Sjorsdotter is a naturalist studying the chrees here,” said Alejandra, finally lifting the first tree into the hold.

“Really?” said Cornelius. “Would you be interested in a position on the crew?”

“Aw no she ain’t,” said Sister Pastor. “I’m not going on no ship with her. None of this here ‘pyruvate’ and all.”

“Sister, she could be extremely valuable to us as a resource for studying Xylionis jazari.”

“You know about Xylionis jazari?” said Emmaline Hortense Sjorsdotter. “If so, I respect you; If not, I don’t (that was an excellent place for a semicolon, by the way).”

“Indeed I do. Now let’s get them on this ship before the Anubians get here to chop all of us down.”

“Very well. But I’m coming with them, since, as previously stated, they are the subject of my present research.”

She boarded the ship.

“Boy, you got some kind of talent, getting her to do what you say. Lord have mercy.”
Gaius shot down an Anubian who came out of nowhere.

“Ah, we’ve been found out,” said Cornelius, “everyone who’s coming should probably board at this time.”

The unlikely assemblage ascended into the ground-hopper, and Gaius took control of the ships guns to mow down a line of guards.

“Come now, Alejandra, let’s not be unnecessarily graceful,” he said.

“Do not worry, I have only a few more chrees.”

Anubian lasers glanced off the ground-hopper with a distasteful buzz. The soldiers began to set up a larger anti-craft gun.

“You do realize we aren’t shielded, right?” said Gaius.

“One more only!”

The Anubians readied to fire.

“Alejandra!”

“Finished!”

Gaius launched the ground-hopper into the air with great force. The Anubians continued to shoot at them until they were out of range, Gaius narrowly dodging the larger projectiles.

“And now, the lovely prospect of returning to the mess we created this morning,” said Gaius.

“Right, that. I had almost forgotten,” said Cornelius, “the patrols will be out of their minds.”

“Good thing the ship has nothing distinctive about it except a vast quantity of whole trees sticking out of the hold.”

“This is becoming far more complicated than I had previously imagined,” said Anita.

“You don’t know the half of it,” said Cornelius.